19TH DEC 2016
The Shocking Secret No One Ever Told You About Best Friends
BY J.S. VON DACRE
You know your BFF (best friend forever)? The one who knows all your secrets? The one who is the first person you call with news updates that would challenge any BBC breaking news bulletin?
What if I told you that this person can never be your ultimate BFF? Would you call me a liar and say I failed to understand the depth or concept of friendship?
The truth is, the greatest love or friendship you can ever have is yourself. So ask yourself, are you a best friend to yourself? If the answer is no, then how can you be a best friend to another? Friendship and love can only start in one place–inside.
Here are 4 steps to becoming a best friend to yourself:
1. Appreciate your flaws
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing cracks or breaks in pottery with gold. It was born from the belief that beauty lies in the history of an object, not of the visual object itself. Be your own Kintsugi.
2. Practise “mindfulness”
Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present, instead of focusing on all the things you want to change about the present. Allow yourself to enjoy the good things, which will not last forever. Allow yourself to experience the bad things, which will also not last forever.
3. Forgive yourself
We all make mistakes but we are sometimes harsher on ourselves than we may be with others. The Dalai Lama once famously said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
4. Have “self dates"...and love them
Go to the museum. Have a picnic with your favourite treats on a summer’s day. Curl up in front a nice fire with a great book and a cup of cocoa at the end of the day. Go swimming in the ocean with the kiss of the sun on your skin. Learn to play an instrument. Find moments that allow you to enjoy you. After all, you owe it to yourself. It’s a life term.