18TH JAN 2017
Are You In Denial About The Narcissist Or Sociopath In Your Life?
BY J.S. VON DACRE
“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm, but the harm (that they cause) does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.” --T. S. Eliot
Here is something scary you may or may not know. Right now, you know someone who is a narcissist or sociopath. Most often, you are not aware of what they are until it is too late.
All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths, which sounds a bit confusing. They are, however, both quite similar, and are categorised as Cluster B personality disorders. If you are not someone who automatically manipulates, deceives or lies (as they do), you may end up feeling hurt, confused or questioning your own self. Instinctively, you project your own good qualities onto them, which will not get mirrored back as you would expect from a normal person.
Here are the warning signs to look for:
- They convince you that you overreact, or are over-emotional when THEY mess up
- They do something (that you know is wrong), but they constantly justify or explain away their actions. They are always the victim
- They never take responsibility for their behaviour. They always have an excuse or simply, revert the blame to you or someone else
- Things they say and do will differ, depending on whom they are around. They will come across as charming and charismatic, but it is really a chameleon-type persona they use to manipulate people they meet
- They deflect their own lack of morals, by making accusations of the none-guilty. For instance, they may state that someone is being kind because they have ulterior motives, or they may accuse their faithful partner of flirting when they, themselves, are having affairs
- They are pathological liars. When caught out, instead of admitting to it, they will create further lies
- They practice what is known as "gaslighting”. This is a form of psychological abuse where they create situations that cause their victims to experience such extreme anxiety or confusion, that their victims question their judgement or memory. To give you an idea of how dangerous this is, similar tactics are employed as means of torture for prisoners of war.
The brain of a narcissist or sociopath is not developed in the same way as others; they have less grey matter in their left anterior insula, which is the part of the brain involved in cognitive functioning and emotions. Do not mistake that they could “change”. At a dinner party with some friends, someone discussed the problems she had with her boyfriend. A psychotherapist, who was amongst us, said that she was dating a sociopath or narcissist. When asked for his advice, his response was simply, “Run.”
The truth about your narcissist / sociopath is that they will never be able to enjoy the richness and fullness of love, true joy or anything genuine, like other people. They wake up each day feeling a black emptiness–and no amount of lies, alcohol or pursuits they have, irrespective of how successful it may appear, could ever help them escape that darkness.
Realise that you, however, can have all those meaningful experiences and feelings that they are incapable of ever having and secretly crave. The first step of setting yourself free, is knowing what you are dealing with. Trust your own judgement, self-worth and goodness, and have no doubts that you deserve having that reciprocated.
"Don’t burn bridges. Use dynamite. The time you invest in recycling the same misaligned people, you could be investing in upcycling yourself." ~ J.S. von Dacre
WEAR SEMI-PRECIOUS STONES TO HELP PROTECT AND UPCYCLE YOU
ROSE QUARTZ FOR ENERGY, DETERMINATION, COMMITMENT, AND CARING. WEAR ITS ABUNDANT GOOD ENERGY WITH A PAIR OF OUR BEAUTIFUL EARRINGS. WWW.MEROLA.CO.UK
Amethyst and diamondS FOR EXTRA GOOD ENERGY AND A STRONGER PROTECTIVE AURA (OR ARMOUR), silver CHANDELIER earrings~WWW.MEROLA.CO.UK
Amethysts are thought to protect the wearer from all types of harm and negative energies they can be found in beautiful jewellery at WWW.Merola.CO.UK